the world is a circus - what is your halloween costume?

oh

yes

i gotta be an annoyer.

what are you?

a clown or a dress

that didn't fit so well but you bought it anyways?

so everything i want

i need to consider the exact tone,

the perfect angle

and

the softness of the shadow in contact

with the floor.

it sucks.

i love it.

i consider each step as unique.

maybe

that makes me a little more alive

or

a little

more annoying.

more

so much more

annoying

than the leaf

that falls to the ground,

not worrying

about

where its forehead will land.

there are people who will cross your way

just to show you

why ice cream and winter can melt.

just don't dare to tell me you are down.

how could you ever

be like

that

if you are in the circus?!

if if if

tell me now

if you turned inside out

what color would you

be?

i see you spread out,

smashed on the floor,

smashed

into one

red

nose

ready

to

pause

for a moment

and

listen

to what is echoing inside

the head,

the heart,

the haura?

inside

the distinctly whorish quality

emanating from a

woman.

the wild wolf

locked

in a spectrum of unsolicited opinions.

think about the logic of the zoo:

coming towards you

whenever

they want something.

a dubious approach,

clapping like a seal,

anything for a dead fish.

a dizzying laugh,

a look,

astonished.

who are you?

allowing myokymia on the eye,

compelling with those

dusty adorned environments.

who are those? some people

will respect your limits,

those

will wear costumes,

will make you believe in a halloween fantasy.

and that's why they are clowns,

those creepy clowns.

it's funny,

isn't it?

we still live in a big circus after all..

are you a clown or an annoyer?

walking on the world like that,

an entertainer,

a joker?

hiding behind masks,

composing a bright rotten smile,

immense on the outside

deceptively,

tiny

inside.

someone,

just merely someone

who could be replaced by a piece of plastic.

how on earth?

how

do

you

walk

on by that dust?

a clown disguised as a puritan.

a joke for sure,

marching the borders,

collapsing the outwards.

i got clowns pressuring the edges s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s my edges s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s walking towards s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s

my beautiful

yet painful

limits.

clowns will pressure,

they are out there

just

craving

attention.

so from now on,

whenever i start to sight clowns,

i light up a candle

or a candy,

it's sweet inside my nirvana

mine,

oh my one place,

of perfect peace and happiness.

cause i can’t

be

any other

won’t.

im a circular being,

i have rounded corners and a heart full of

lavander.

it sucks.

i love it.

all i want 

is to check

all types,

shapes,

colors.

i have to weight everything on a balance.

to see all options?

but what if i end up making a bad decision?

so i asked advice and Sinatra said i should just

“pick myself up and get back in the race”

cause

“that’s life”

you see?

i’m annoying.

how annoying

am i?

it’s like even if i got all the

meaningless flowers in the world,

i'd rather be selfing,

cause

when you give a flower

to another flower,

it becomes a

person.

so for each clown crossing my way

i'm going

to take a thin brush

and

stick in their pupils,

clearing the view with their own darkness.

or maybe

i can take a deep breath.

just maybe,

in time

to not lose my head.

cause i might

just

paint red

over the

draft

drawing of your clown face

that

already came ready.